They say stay away from triggers that increase the symptoms; like stress
But I don’t know how to do that when my whole life feels a mess
It only makes me feel more sick
And then my problems more big
I get stuck in a cycle I can’t seem to quit
The pain, no sleep, nausea, vomit
Fatigue, muscles cramping, headaches, all of it
Bound in this go round, I want off of it
They say stay away from triggers that increase the symptoms; like stress
This is my life with chronic illness
Just for one day
I’d like to wake up full of life
To Feel rested through my whole body
To Feel refreshing energy
Just for one day
I’d like a steady heart
To Feel the calming rhythmic beats
To Feel it’s soothing melody as I breathe
Just for one day
I’d like to run in fields of flowers
To feel the breeze as I frolic through the trees
To Feel free
Just for one day
I’d like my body to be copacetic
To Feel the simplicity, I just can’t obtain; the mundane
To Feel no pain
I’d like to feel okay
Even if only,
Just for one day
Doctors and pills
Therapists and good will
Procedures and blood draws
Operations and white gauze
Tear drops and can’t sleep
Fresh wounds skin deep
It’s lonely to be ill
Self love, self care
self what? who? where?
The sunshine, the yoga
The essential oils of Aunt Rhoda
The diets and deep breathing
But I’m still here dry heaving
No meditation or willingness
Can take away the illness
It’s so lonely to be ill
Hospital stays and beeping nights
When am I ever going to feel right
More prods more pokes
More pain it invokes
Don’t forget to take your meds
Enjoy your day alone in bed.
It’s so lonely to be ill
Kyoko W.P. POETRY 