Infinitely

I’m the mess behind the words that you read

The one that looks distressed as you see my scars bleed

The one facing the demons that only I can see 

Feeling every evil being surrounding me

The one who has to deal with all of this inside of me

And now the one no longer who she used to be

Not after having nearly everything taken from me

I’m this way because of what’s happened to me

But, if nothing else it only enhanced my empathy capacity

You won’t get to make darkness out of me

I’m the one who will always love and live compassionately

The one who’s light can’t be dimmed, can’t you see

This light, it shines infinitely 

A Warrior Inside of Me

There’s a warrior inside of me

she gets me where I need to be

She slays dragons and fights monsters

all the horrific things that haunt her

She is stronger than you could fathom

she finds grounding where she lands on

She sings songs that soothe the soul 

when the world around her begins to unravel

She’s always been able to piece things back where they need to be

She’s always been braver than any could see

The warrior inside of me

I am she 

and she

is me

Kyoko W.P.

Okay

The pain fades..

But

Somedays it rains.

And when it rains

The pain

Emerges in spades

And all you can do is wait.

No matter how much it frustrates…

You

You can take the time to create

I know the sun can be hard to locate.

But I promise.

It

Will

Be

Okay

Kyoko W.P.

Somedays

Somedays I’m okay
But today is not somedays
And then when it turns night
That’s when my brain likes to play
Tricks on me
and my memory
Darkness creeps in every crevice
Tainting everything
that is precious
You’d think I’d learn some lessons
But I just need more sessions
Of Therapy
Maybe I’ll find some clarity
Find some familiarity
Because primarily
This will only last temporarily
And soon
I’ll be sitting in my serenity

Kyoko W.P.

Burns like a Dying Star

My skin burns

like dying stars

Every time

you touch my scars

But even with skin peeling

I can feel the wounds healing

Kyoko W.P.

Alice

A punch to the gut
And a slap in the face
Each step that I can’t retrace
How did I get here
Living within fear
Caged in the chaos
Almost saw my life lost
But at what cost
I’m free to fly now
But sometimes still forget how
I can be brave and face the day
Or I can crumble and hideaway,
Maybe play with a stray
I didn’t lose my life
But I lost my balance
It’s like I’m in Wonderland
Please, call me Alice

Kyoko WP

Sting

The tears sting my cheek
where my face hit the floor
Collapsed in defeat
I don’t want to live like this anymore

Kyoko W.P.

You Left

You left to start a new life
A new baby, a new wife
You left behind the three girls you had
You left them broken, with no more dad
You left behind the shattered shards
You left me to mend three broken hearts
You left the ones you claimed to love
You left more damage than I could conceive of

Kyoko W.P.

Reduced to nothing

A flicker, a flash , a flame
A blaze of fire ignites inside
It scorches with a fierce torch
Embracing the warmth of it while it sears
Melting
Watch as it all goes up in smoke
Smoldering
Reduced to nothing
but ashes
and char

Kyoko WP

Break

I can break
I can break and mend
Push me so far until I bend
over backwards till it ends
Does it end?

Kyoko W.P.

Curated catastrophe

Diffuse the IED of dishonesty
Before we all combust from the blow you fraudulently
handled as love for me
But now I see
This disaster was always meant to be
It didn’t matter what I tried to be
Or all the love you quickly stole from me
This was always meant to be…
A tragedy

Kyoko W.P.

4am; never late

A Single Tear Drop

a single tear drop
is a minuscule
fragment of affliction …
its a speck of vast emotions
all encapsulated
in one single splash…
imagine the pain that remains in the tears not cried
but put a side
to hide

Kyoko W.P.

Little girl

Little girl, little girl
Why do you cry?
You’re far too young to know such pain
But it’s all I see in your eyes
Little girl, little girl
You don’t have to tell me who or why
You don’t have to be okay
You just have to try

Little girl, little girl
I see the fear in your eyes
You need not be afraid
I will sing you lullabies
and hold you under the nights shade

Little girl, little girl,
Don’t grow so fast…
Sometimes the world
can feel chaotic,
hard to find your place
Take your time…
find your pace
Don’t lose your firefly,
dreams and wishes
Send them way up high
Do it your own way
Light up the sky

Little girl, little girl
Keep your chinup
Don’t cry
Inside every little girl,
Is a warrior… with fire in her eye

Kyoko WP

Keep my Heart Alive

Maybe I dance to the beat of my own drummer.. or
Maybe I am the drummer
Still looking for my beat
I feel it as it changes right under my feet

Maybe I sing to my own melody
Lost in the rhythm of life
And it’s swift changing keys
They can be sharp, haunting
Full of melancholy

I’m lost in the lyrics
that overstimulate my mind
But there are moments of clarity
Where the words just unwind
Those moments of solace
Happen time to time

Those are the times
That keep my heart alive

Kyoko W.P.

My Light

Maybe it’s not that my light
doesn’t shine bright enough
for others to care,
Maybe it’s that my light shines too bright;
hard to witness, to bear.
So the world throws its shade and its filters,
in forms of trauma and tragedy,
in attempts to dim or dull
my light capacity.
But I still glow and gleam in the dark…
Beaming dazzling light into the night sky,
like art

Kyoko WP

Still Bloom

Even in the darkest of nights,
A flower can still bloom.

Kyoko W.P.

Petals

You picked my petals.
One
by
One.
And I let you,
thinking… I had won.
Truth be told,
before you finished with my petals…
You were already
done.

Kyoko W.P.

Pardon Me

strength with an iron will
doesn’t make this pill
any easier to swallow
down, even with water
it’s still stuck in the gut
-ter of my thoughts
that I can’t wash out
so pardon me,
while I scream and shout
this is not what I want

Kyoko W.P.

once was war

just like all the debris,
left from the storm.
it’s up to you
to clear that path,
and make a way-
where there once
was war.

Kyoko W.P.