Open Book

I’m an open book
Turn the page and take a look
Inside you’ll find every emotion and feeling
The trauma and pain that still needs healing
The once frightened child
My thoughts gone wild
The tears that I’ve cried
All the times that I’ve tried
The love in my soul
Things I can’t control
Every page, every chapter
Will have you wonder
How life hasn’t snapped her

I am majestic

I lived in hell for many years
Living in a constant state of panic and fear
Increasing everytime the devil drew near
He drew more power with every tear
Questioning my thoughts, made my own memories disappear
I didn’t even recognize myself in the mirror
Until I found my strength, my spear
Now his screams I can’t even hear
He has no power, and I have no fear
I am majestic and he is mere

Palliative Care

Palliative care

The words so hard to digest

I just think of death

And what will I do with the rest

Of life I have left

Doesn’t always mean death

But it still hurts in the depth

Of my soul, can’t quite catch my breath

Like my lungs are compressed

The words keep playing, my brain obsessed

they’re hard to digest

As I previously confessed

But they won’t put me to rest

I have no bullet proof vest

But I still have dreams and wishes filled in my hope chest

Venomous

I’m feeling quite tremulous
The pain in my heart is strenuous
I fear it may be continuous
It’s where my hurt has made a venue of
It’s shattered quite tremendous
I don’t know if I can live with this
Something spreading; venomous
I’m feeling breathlessness
Just endless
Helplessness
Where there once was
Preciousness
And I am weaponless

Slipping Away

He thought he had me in his hands.
Convinced me of his lies.
It was all apart of his plans.
Filled my head with doubt and deceit.
I had nowhere to go but down to dwell in defeat.
Slipping away, sinking fast.
Powerless to the spell he cast.


Struggling to stay above the surface.
I watched my life fade away.
I felt no purpose.
Falling into the deep dark.
My light diminishing.
Heart beat fading,
Gasping for air.

Below the surface,
It was there, YOU found me.
Drowning in the depths of darkness.
Your light surrounds me.
Slipping away, sinking fast
You came to save me at last.

Slipping away, sinking fast I knew you’d save me at last.

This poem; i wrote many years ago and just found the original in the deep archives

Your Rage Kept Me In A Cage

You kept me in a cage; chained and locked.

There was no way out that was not blocked

Kidnapped. Wings strapped. Completely Trapped

Days go by. I still don’t fly

Hope decreased. Would I ever be released?

I won’t let him keep me here. I won’t be controlled by fear

It’s time things are changing. It’s time for uncaging

I fought and felt stripped from the chains that I ripped.

 My wings for so long held down and gripped

 But they could not possibly ever be clipped

I was once in your prison. But from those dwellings i have finally risen.

I Have No Say

I have no say

I have no say what happens to me
I’m silent, submissive and always agree


I have a few friends who to try to hang out
They travel to see me ;They take a long route

Sometimes on their way they run into trouble
it hurts my insides I can feel the blood bubble


And Sometimes I have guests I didn’t invite
But it doesn’t matter I can’t put up a fight

They violate me; I yell I shout.

I want them to leave; they won’t get out


When pain is too bad ; unwanted guests won’t leave
And I have no control; i cry and I grieve


I say enough is Enough
I say no more, the highways too rough


I’m screaming but no one can hear me
I have no rights; I just want to be free


I have no voice
I have no choice

I have no say

Footsteps and heart racing

Footsteps and heart racing

The fear I feel when I hear him pacing

He’s angry, he’s mad, he’s looking for me

I’m hiding I’m crying and hoping he won’t see

He finds me, I’m naked, alone and I scream

He grabs me and drags me

He screams words, so cruel so obscene

I cry, I beg and I pray

But he throws me around and Now the grounds where I lay

I try to stay still until I know it’s all clear

While he sits grumbling in his chair drinking his beer