dark

Somedays

Somedays I’m okay
But today is not somedays
And then when it turns night
That’s when my brain likes to play
Tricks on me
and my memory
Darkness creeps in every crevice
Tainting everything
that is precious
You’d think I’d learn some lessons
But I just need more sessions
Of Therapy
Maybe I’ll find some clarity
Find some familiarity
Because primarily
This will only last temporarily
And soon
I’ll be sitting in my serenity

Kyoko W.P.

Keep my Heart Alive

Maybe I dance to the beat of my own drummer.. or
Maybe I am the drummer
Still looking for my beat
I feel it as it changes right under my feet

Maybe I sing to my own melody
Lost in the rhythm of life
And it’s swift changing keys
They can be sharp, haunting
Full of melancholy

I’m lost in the lyrics
that overstimulate my mind
But there are moments of clarity
Where the words just unwind
Those moments of solace
Happen time to time

Those are the times
That keep my heart alive

Kyoko W.P.

Predator

It doesn’t matter
how many years have passed
I can still feel you choke me
I can still feel your grasp
your grabs and your grip
Fighting my screams
by biting my lip
You tossed and threw me
like rag doll
You behaved like a predator
ready to maul
I closed my eyes until it was over
The shame and the pain,
the full – body exposure
I’ll never forget
but I’ll always long for
closure

Kyoko WP

Dark place

I’m not in a good head space
I’m in a really dark place
Don’t want to look at my face
All I see is a disgrace
Feeling like I’m just a waste
Longing for a warm embrace
Searching for a familiar face
Something to help in anyway.
Do I not deserve grace
To feel safe
It’s not the case
For now, I’ll cry in my dismay
My life is in disarray
Will I make another day?

.

Kyoko W.P.

Slipping Away

He thought he had me in his hands.
Convinced me of his lies.
It was all apart of his plans.
Filled my head with doubt and deceit.
I had nowhere to go but down to dwell in defeat.
Slipping away, sinking fast.
Powerless to the spell he cast.


Struggling to stay above the surface.
I watched my life fade away.
I felt no purpose.
Falling into the deep dark.
My light diminishing.
Heart beat fading,
Gasping for air.

Below the surface,
It was there, YOU found me.
Drowning in the depths of darkness.
Your light surrounds me.
Slipping away, sinking fast
You came to save me at last.

Slipping away, sinking fast I knew you’d save me at last.

Kyoko W.P.

This poem; i wrote many years ago and just found the original in the deep archives

Your Rage Kept Me In A Cage

You kept me in a cage; chained and locked.

There was no way out that was not blocked

Kidnapped. Wings strapped. Completely Trapped

Days go by. I still don’t fly

Hope decreased. Would I ever be released?

I won’t let him keep me here. I won’t be controlled by fear

It’s time things are changing. It’s time for uncaging

I fought and felt stripped from the chains that I ripped.

 My wings for so long held down and gripped

 But they could not possibly ever be clipped

I was once in your prison. But from those dwellings i have finally risen.

Kyoko W.P.

4am

Dry heaving

Heavy breathing

Heart pounding

Can’t find grounding

4am ; never late

160 heart rate

Hands shake

I don’t want to be awake

But I don’t want to be asleep

The trauma simply runs too deep

Night mares

And jump scares

Torture and terror

Heart break and despair

Lives lived in dreams

Tears shed, loud screams

Wake up sweating

Drenched my bedding

4am ; never late

160 heart rate

I don’t want to be awake

Kyoko W.P.

Watch Me as I Fall

Watch Me as I Fall Apart

Right now just existing hurts so bad

Put me in a coma and wake me when its over

There’s nothing I can do when I feel so sad

I don’t want to be awake I’m losing my composure

Feelings overwhelm my soul, thoughts overwhelm my body

The sadness that’s inside of me is starting to consume me

I’m crying tears that could fill rooms and feeling very empty

There’s nowhere to run or hide… So, everyone can see

Watch me as I fall apart 

Watch me as I crumble

The pieces that once made my heart

Are now nothing more than rubble

I’m sinking deeper into the dark

The waves of sadness going over my head

The terrible journey I’ve had to embark

Battling thoughts of wishing I was dead

Kyoko W.P.