Infinitely

I’m the mess behind the words that you read

The one that looks distressed as you see my scars bleed

The one facing the demons that only I can see 

Feeling every evil being surrounding me

The one who has to deal with all of this inside of me

And now the one no longer who she used to be

Not after having nearly everything taken from me

I’m this way because of what’s happened to me

But, if nothing else it only enhanced my empathy capacity

You won’t get to make darkness out of me

I’m the one who will always love and live compassionately

The one who’s light can’t be dimmed, can’t you see

This light, it shines infinitely 

A Warrior Inside of Me

There’s a warrior inside of me

she gets me where I need to be

She slays dragons and fights monsters

all the horrific things that haunt her

She is stronger than you could fathom

she finds grounding where she lands on

She sings songs that soothe the soul 

when the world around her begins to unravel

She’s always been able to piece things back where they need to be

She’s always been braver than any could see

The warrior inside of me

I am she 

and she

is me

Lost Little Girl

I can find myself in words on paper

Each verse another layer

Discovering with each new line

Maybe in a riddle or Rhyme

But somewhere within this journal

Are still just the feelings of a lost little girl

Forgotten

Sometimes I feel invisible
Did I just disappear
I scream and I yell
But no one can hear
And then I wonder
Am I still here?
I feel forgotten
Like I don’t exist
I fight to be seen
I try, I persist
Am I slowly drifting away
Do you no longer see my heart
Right here on display?

I Miss

I miss driving & it’s independence.
I miss walking without a Walker or assistance.
I miss dancing around without the fear of collapsing.
I miss friends & seeing people.
No one visits, no one’s asking.
But I suppose in actuality it’s really not that bad
It’s just sometimes,
I feel overwhelmingly sad

Who I Am

I feel like I’m failing

Don’t give me the exam

I won’t pass this test

I’ve studied

I’ve Crammed

But I still don’t quite know

who

I am

Lady of the Sea

Like an anchor

You keep me grounded

Like the waves

You roll with me

And like a light house you help me through the dark

I am your lady of the sea

Wherever you are,

I want to be

Shatter

And the biggest thing that broke my heart
Was watching yours shatter
I tried to keep the pieces together
But it didn’t really matter
The damage was done
My oath to protect you,
Broken
I never wanted any of this for you
To have your heart break open
If I could fix it with my words, well they would already be spoken.

Somedays

Somedays I’m okay
But today is not somedays
And then when it turns night
That’s when my brain likes to play
Tricks on me
and my memory
Darkness creeps in every crevice
Tainting everything
that is precious
You’d think I’d learn some lessons
But I just need more sessions
Of Therapy
Maybe I’ll find some clarity
Find some familiarity
Because primarily
This will only last temporarily
And soon
I’ll be sitting in my serenity

It Was Automatic

You’re like magic.

You found me when my life was tragic

A mess of tears, panic 

& manic

Admist my most dramatic 

Going through something traumatic

And you knew how to fix it 

Like a mechanic

It was automatic

We were friends, it was organic

But that grew into something romantic

A tranquil and serene dynamic

I knew from day one,

I could feel the static

When our souls met 

It was climatic

Kyoko W.P.

I’m the One

Try as I may

I could never display

How much I was betrayed

In such a way

That almost put me in a grave

But there’s things you can’t change

Like the way you behaved

The mountains you caved

The games that you played

The emotions you disarrayed

The haunting memories you made

You had all your plans laid

But I’m the one

I’m the one that paid